A gift

As you may know, JT and I began our DR adoption journey in the fall of 2008. We had fallen in love with a sweet little girl that we knew had recently been placed in an orphanage in Nagua. Emily was about 7 months old at the time.

Two and a half years later-- after being told (by our agency) that we would be able to adopt her - being told we would not - hiring a lawyer to do a private investigation - finding out she still has family in the community and will remain in the orphanage - and is not available for international adoption- we were heart broken.

I knew God was asking something big of me here. Bigger than what I could do alone. I needed to let go of my "dream" of Emily. Our paperwork was logged in with CONANI and we were on the waiting list for our referral. God called us to adoption... He never said it would be Emily. Letting go of my dream needed to happen to prepare me for what God had planned.

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When I was in the DR on my Mission trip this past February, I had the opportunity to visit her orphanage. This sweet girl was going to be a couple of hours from where we were staying! I knew it would be hard, but I had to see her. I could not be that close and not see her. I needed to feel her in my arms and kiss her sweet face.

My dearest friend went with me. We have been friends for over 22 years. She was on a Mission trip (summer -2008) working in the orphanage when Emily came to live there.

I wanted soak in every single moment I had with her. I wanted to see this day for what is was... a gift from my most gracious-generous Savior.

Emily was having lunch when we arrived and was quite shy. It did not take long until she was in my arms. She remained there for the rest of our visit. Oh how I loved on that sweet girl!

I showed her pictures of Bailey and Olivia. I had a picture of her as well. She held on to those pictures and would not let any of the other girls look at them. Emily is just as I have imagined her to be... sweet and sassy!

All of the girls were so precious. Laura and I painted fingernails and toenails, passed out lollipops and silly bands. We would have spent the entire day there if we could have.

Time flew by... and it was time to say goodbye. She cried. I cried.

I will see this sweet child again. My life with her will just look different than my dream - my plan. I can still care for her and support the orphanage where she lives. I will always be a part of her life in some way.

This part of our adoption journey ripped my heart to pieces, but God has so beautifully placed them back together.

Revelation 21:5 "And he that sat upon the throne said,

"Behold, I make all things new."

Even this heart of mine.

Three days home from my trip, we got THE call. It was a complete surprise. Our agency received our referral.... and it's a boy.

Our son, Alex.

God is so good.